Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What Do You REALLY Want to do? And Why Aren't You Doing it?

I'd like you to meet my husband.

He is a Grown Up. I'm pretty sure he's been one since he was a kid. He's well-educated, he absorbs information like no one I have ever met and he makes a mean spreadsheet. Seriously--he knows Microsoft Excel better than the people that created it.

He's also a passionate expert in Commedia dell'arte, a form of Italian comedy that has been around, well, forever.

You'd never know his artistic side if you passed him by--he is Mr. Business. But every now and then, the artist in him comes out.

I was reminded of this a few weeks ago. Little Man was in bed and we had company staying with us. The conversation drifted, as I know it eventually always will with him, to Commedia.

While he was explaining the archetypal characters to my friend, I watched him come alive. He even performed a bit for her, and it thrilled me. I'd forgotten what an amazing performer he is. It's hard to remember sometimes, when I'm watching him be good at all the other stuff he's good at.

 "So let me ask you," my friend said once he was done. "If this is your passion, what are you doing in the gym business?"

It was a good question. And as usual, my husband had a good answer.

He's a man with a plan. He's always known that he wanted to have his own theater and share Commedia with the world. But he's not going to do it until he knows he can do it well.

And that's meant research. And gaining some business sense. And learning. That MBA that doesn't have anything to do with theater? It has everything to do with theater--because if you can't run a business, you can't run a theater.

It reminded me that he has a goal. One day he'll be doing what he wants to do. And it made me think--what do I REALLY want to do?

The answer came easily. I want to write.

I've always wanted to write. There are a million stories in my head all the time. Made up characters live in my brain, just waiting for me to put pen to paper and make them come to life. So why the heck aren't I doing it?

My gut reaction is to say I don't have time. I'm a mom. I have a house to clean. I have laundry to do. I have stuff in my way.

My answer to my gut? Just sit down and WRITE.

The laundry isn't going anywhere. The dishes can sit for a few more minutes. I'm a good, interactive and engaging mom--it won't kill my kid to watch a show while I get some words on paper. To say I don't have time to do something I love is an injustice to myself--I deserve to do what I love, and I should make time for it.

Sometimes--a lot of the time--my writing isn't good. But it's a mental release. And sometimes I write and it is good, and when I get into that rhythm it is a beautiful thing.

Same goes for running. What's stopping me from sticking to a training plan? Well...I am. I am the biggest road block to myself. And it's time to get the heck out of my own way.

A penny for your thoughts: what do you really want to do? What are you going to do to make it happen?


  1. I LOVE this post! IT's a great reminder that we are not stuck in one place or one job just because we have a degree/experience with it. I love the ocean, I love marine biology, and I love teaching children (AND ADULTS) about our planet. That is my passion, that is where I come alive, that is what I was meant to do. I'm lucky to have known that my whole young life, but every day I am thankful for getting to do what I love! Keep writing, Allyson.

    1. That's awesome! I'm so glad you're doing what you want to do.

  2. What if, at nearly 30, I still have zero idea on what I want to do. Doesn't help that what I thought I wanted is no longer the case...

    And, for the record, I think all your writing is amazing. Everything that I have read on this blog is well written and I enjoy reading it.

    1. I think that's toally okay. I saw a quote the other day, "the first 40 years of childhood are the hardest." The possibilities are endless!